I was at Price Chopper about 20 minutes ago with Tony to pick up what we lovingly refer to as “baked fried crap” (i.e., pizza rolls, frozen chicken tenders, etc.) for dinner. At Price Chopper, I made a fantastic wholly terrifying interesting discovery.
They’ve started making flavored Michelob Ultra. The flavors come in the following “hip” and “cutting edge” varieties:
– Dragon Fruit Peach
– Pomegranate Raspberry
– Lime Cactus
I’m alternating between abject horror and absolute glee because these sound like the worst idea ever, but an idea that seems absolutely in keeping with the whole Michelob Ultra branding scheme (better known as “pretend beer for vapid wannabe yuppies”).
I *have* to try these. Mind you, I’ve never actually had a Michelob Ultra because it’s just not beer. I’m not sure what it is (the phrase “science experiment” comes to mind), but it isn’t beer. However, beer or not-beer, I will totally try these and review them here, because I anticipate the experience being, well, an experience. If I get really motivated, I’ll have someone take pictures of my face and post them along with my reviews.
So, readers of the KC metro area, here’s what I need to know (if any of you might have ideas). Where might I be able to put together a mixed 6-pack? I want to try these, but I emphatically don’t want a full 6-pack of each. I won’t drink more than enough to review them, and Lord knows I would never try to cook with them. I like food too much to torture it like that. So I’d like one of each as part of a mixed 6-pack. To round it out, bonus points if I’d also be able to get ahold of a Chelada (Bud Lite plus clamato juice), a Bud American “Ale”, and something else of that ilk (perhaps just a straight Michelob Ultra so that I have it as the flavorless control comparison to its flavored brethren). So if any of you out there have ideas as to where I could put together such a monstrosity, please let me know. I promise to pay you back with lulz.
note: I’m stealing the phrase “for science” from Cleolinda Jones, whose readers occasionally send her Twilight-themed food merchandise which she then tests and reviews “for science.” It seemed the best way to describe this undertaking.