I think it must be some strange, sadistic aspect of human nature that makes us say “OMG THIS IS AWFUL TRY IT NOW.” Typically, when someone has the “OH AWK GOD MAKE IT STOP” reaction to food (specifically when that reaction has been in all caps), I find I *want* to try whatever the offending food/beverage is. I’m curious to find out what horror could evoke that kind of reaction, and curious to find out if I’ll agree. I’m apparently a touch masochistic when it comes to food.
The following beer is one of the beers that falls into the “so terrible everyone should try it at least once” category: the Roy Pitz Lovitz (Watermelon) BubbleYum Lager. Enjoy.
Name: Lovitz Lager (the Watermelon Lager)
Origin: Roy Pitz Brewing Co., Chambersburg, PA
Style: Fruit Beer
IBU: not listed, but irrelevent. This stuff is anti-hop, as I’ll detail below: this may be the first beer I’ve ever had whose IBU is a negative number.
I drank this: on tap at Porters in Easton, PA
This is a very pale amberish lager with heavy carbonation. and a slightly pinkish, thin head. It tastes like soda water. As in it has no taste whatsoever, nothing to distinguish it from regular water beyond the carbonation. To the point where I decided for one brief moment that it could be refreshing if it were really steamy hot out and one liked to drink mostly flavorless liquids on steamy hot days. (This is how I’ve since tried to rationalize the B- rating for this beer on BeerAdvocate.) I also decided during that same brief moment that it might be passable as fizzy limeade if someone were to squeeze lime into it.
And then I swallowed. This was mistake number two, mistake number one being to try the beer in the first place.
This stuff (I have an issue calling it beer at this point), it has an aftertaste of artificial bubblegum flavoring. It is bad. Vile. Reprehensible.
And it Wouldn’t. Go. Away.
Seriously. The flavor just hung out in my mouth, a fake bubblegum addition to the Dogfish Head 60-minute IPA I ordered immediately thereafter in an attempt to rid myself of the stale Bazooka Joe aftertaste. This watermelon lager is a hop killer. I didn’t think anything could kill hops – I always thought it went the other way around, that hops could kill the flavor of anything else they so chose. I was apparently wrong, and am disturbed to learn that hop happiness can be taken away by something so banal as 3 sips of flavorless, fizzy, feeble watermelon lager.
If you enjoy schaudenfreude, I cannot recommend this beer highly enough – order it forthwith for someone else and watch the fun. If you’re the type of masochist who, like me, reads something like this review and says “Self, I must try this immediately,” then do yourself a favor and just get a sample. Three sips is more than plenty.